Cockney Rhyming Slang Dictionary

While residing across the pond, many a septic would bring up the subject of cockney rhyming slang. This kindled my own interest in the subject, particularly in the derivation of, and in the people mentioned in the slang. Hope you enjoy. Warning - bad language used throughout!

The part of the slang in brackets is not normally spoken. Often the first part will have an 's' added if the object is plural eg Hampsteads = teeth

Adam and Eve - believe. eg "would you Adam and Eve it mate!"

Akker Bilk - milk.

Almond (rocks) - socks

Apples (and pairs) - stairs.

Aris(totle). This is a double rhyme: Aristotle - bottle. Bottle and glass - arse (rear end, bottom).

Baden Powel - towel (Baden Powel was the founder of the Boy Scouts).

Barclays (bank) - wank. Modern slang. eg "Dave's a long time in the khazi, must be 'avin a Barclays!".

Barnet (Fayre) - hair.

Benson (and Hedges) - wedges. Musicians slang for monitor wedges (onstage speakers)

Berk(eley Hunt) - cunt. Most people go around calling people 'berks' for years not realising that it is slang for one of the strongest swear words in the English language.

Boat (race) - face.

Bob Hope - dope.

Brahms and Liszt - pissed (drunk) (used in it's full form).

Bristol (city) - titty. Bristols = titties or tits.

Brown Bread - dead.

Buddy Holly - volley.

Burton(-on-Trent) - went (left). "Its gone for a burton"

Butchers (hook) - look. "let's av a butchers".

Cape of Good Hope - soap.

Chalk farms - arms

China (plate) - mate. Used as a general term to address someone you are at least a bit familiar with. Usually prefixed by 'me old'. eg. "Awright me old china !".

Cream crackered - knackered (slang for tired. From 'knacker's yard - a place where horses go to get turned into glue!).

Current bun - son.

Daisy (roots) - boots.

Desperate (Dans) - cans. Musicians slang for headphones.

Dickie Dirt - shirt.

Duch(ess of Fife) - wife.

Dunlop (tyre) - fire. "Come over 'ere and warm your Germans by the Dunlop".

Farmer (Giles) - piles (haemorrhoids).

German (bands) - hands.

Ginger beer - queer.

Gone for a Burton (-on-Trent) - went or 'left'."My cd player won't play. I think its gone for a burton. Might as well chuck it away and buy a new'un.

Gregory (Peck) - neck or cheque. eg. "Get that pint dahn yer Gregory" (drink that pint of beer quickly). "Is it cash or a gregory?" Modern slang.

Gypsy's (kiss) - piss (urinate). eg. "I'm just nipping out for a gypsy's".

Half inch - pinch (steal).

Hampstead (Heath) - teeth.

Hampton (Wick) - prick (penis).

Hobson's (choice) - Voice.

Holy Ghost - toast.

Jack (Jones) - own. eg. "I was all on me Jack".

Jam jar - car. Used in it's full form.

Jimmy (riddle) - piddle (to urinate). eg "I'm just nipping out for a Jimmy".

Jodrell (Bank) - wank. Jodrell Bank is where the largest radio telescope in the UK is sited.

Johnny Horner - corner.

Khyber (Pass) - arse.

Lady Godiva - fiver (a five pound note).

Lillian Gish - fish (she was a silent movie star).

Loaf (of bread) - head. eg. "don't be stupid, use yer loaf !".

Mince (pies) - eyes.

Norfolk (Broads) - chords. Musician's slang.

North and south - mouth.

Norwegian (fiords) - chords. 'Can you write out the norwegians for that tune before the gig?'

Peckham (rye) - tie.

Pen and ink - stink. 'There's a bit of a pen and ink around here'.

Plates (of meat) - feet. 'I've been standing up all night. My plates are killing me.'

Pony (and trap) - crap (ie no good).

Pork pies, porkie (pies) - eyes, lies.

Rasberry (ripple) - nipple, cripple.

Richard (the Third) - turd.

Rockin' Horse - sauce.

Rosey (Lee) - tea.

Rub-a-dub - pub.

Ruby (Murray) - curry (Ruby was a 50's Irish Singer).

Sausage and Mash - hash.

Scarpa (Flow) - go (to run / leave). (Scarpa Flow is a weather station)

Scotch Eggs - legs.

Sexton Blake - fake (Sexton Blake was an MI5 spy).

Sir Anthony Blunt - cunt (curator of queens paintings / oxford graduate / communist spy).

Strawberry Tart - heart.

Sweeny (Todd) - Flying Squad (division of the police)(Sweeny Todd was a barber who turned people into pies).

Syrup (of figs) - wig.

Taters (potatoes in the mould) - cold. (potatoes were buried in a heap to protect them against the cold).

Tea leaf - thief.

Thrup(enny bits) - tits. (pronounced 'froops').

Todd (Sloane) - own. eg. "I was all on mi Todd" (Todd Sloane was a jockey).

Trouble (and strife) - wife.

Vera Lynn - gin, skins(cigarette papers)

Victoria (plums) - drums. Musician's slang.

Vladimir (Askenazi) - khazi (arabic for toilet) Weasel (and stoat) - coat.

Whistle (and flute) - suit.

Zeig hiels - piles.